we're chasing vodka with high fives
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
