Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize