I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
