google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
