my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
