I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
