This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
