I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
