Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
