weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
