i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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