I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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