Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
