my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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