i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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