Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im holly from the hills drunk
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
