I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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