I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
