His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
