I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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