All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
