We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
