Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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