You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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