Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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