i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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