member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
