I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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