my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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