the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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