ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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