careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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