My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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