thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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