i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
