Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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