im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
