White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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