i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
