At least make sure they are 18
Why
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
