Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize