i just had sex bonerless
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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