just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
