she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Randomize
