we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
