there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
