i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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