You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
