I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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