Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize