yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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