Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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