Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
