make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish you could order shots online.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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