His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
