But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
