I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
