just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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