One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
