i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
