But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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