party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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