You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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