do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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