Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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