no you cant smoke seaweed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
