I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
