i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
