she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
