So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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