Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
