Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the day after is always just damage control
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
