The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
