So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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