Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
