May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
operation harelip BJ is a go
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Couch. On fire.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
