Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
