is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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