Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
