yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
