FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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