No stitches, just platelets and will power
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize