Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
