Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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